During my very lonely childhood and as a young woman, I experienced a lot of emotional abuse. By the time I was eighteen years old I did not love myself at all, and had very low self-esteem. The people that I was supposed to look up to, trust and respect, made me feel that I was less than the ground I stood on.
Because of all the emotional abuse I suffered as a young child, I grew into a adult who allowed abusive people to hurt me for many years. I believed that I was not worthy enough to deserve anything better. I did not think that any man would ever want to marry someone like me, because I actually thought I was ugly, and not good enough for anyone to marry.
When I was nineteen years old I worked for a couple of years as an assistant nurse in a psychiatric hospital. At twenty one years of age, I married someone who worked with me at the hospital. Two years later I left my job at the hospital to start a family.
After my five year marriage failed because we were completely incompatible, I ended up happily divorced with three very young children (two girls & one boy). Seven years later I had another boy with someone who I loved so very much, but that relationship didn't work out either, because we both had very low self-esteem, so naturally our relationship exploded in our faces.
One day my whole life changed after reading two books, Your Erroneous Zones & Pulling Your Own Strings by Doctor Wayne Dyer. After I read these two books, I finally decided to embark on a long journey to reclaim my self-esteem, and learn how to love myself.
Many years later I read another incredible book called Men Who Hate Women & The Women Who Love Them by Susan Forward. This book helped me to know if someone was an abusive person, and how to handle them without getting hurt. I highly recommend this book to any woman who is in an abusive relationship. This book was a life saver for me. No longer could any man control and abuse me.
Regaining your self-esteem depends on how strong your level of determination and commitment is, to want to rise above all your past emotional abuse, and your willingness to want to heal yourself. One of my strongest points I like about myself, is that I am a very determined woman, and I believe in never ever giving up, no matter what life throws at you.
Eventually I learnt how to love myself and regained my self-esteem. Looking back at my past experiences, I can see now, how they all helped to mold me into the strong woman I am today.
I have experienced nearly every challenge a woman can face in life, so as a trained counsellor, I have the ability to truly understand and empathize with most women, no matter what situation they have found themselves in. All my past challenges keep me humble, open minded and non judgemental.
If we want to live a happy and peaceful life, we must first start with ourselves. As adults we cannot look to others to give us back our lost self-esteem. We cannot expect others to constantly give us attention to feed our hungry egos. This is something we alone have to do for ourselves.